Tagged!!!

Well, Dave D' Author has tagged me!! Methinks tags are a nice way of sneaking a few extra breaths for your virtual space, and boy, dnt they come quite handy when your creativity gives you a major slip!!

So here are the rules from the Rule Book:

1. Type your answer for each of the questions into Flickr search.


2. Using only the 1st page of the results, choose one random image.
   
3. Copy and paste the URLs of each of the images into Big Huge Lab's Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the chosen pictures.

Well these are not Physics questions, so every pappu is expected to pass:)

What is your first name?
What is your favorite food right now?
Which high school did you attend?
Which is your favorite color?
Who is your celebrity crush?
What is your favorite drink?
What is your dream vacation?
What is your favorite dessert?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What do you love most in life?
What is one word that describes you?
What is your user name?


And here's my answer script: ( quite predictable )

And i'm re-tagging the Id ka chaand of my blog-roll, Anand.

Now Playing:: kahin na jaa............................Lata & Kishore

" Let's make hay, while the women fight." Its a Man's world

A " respectable " fifty-five year old woman kept screaming into the microphone, " prostitution should be banned ", and women engaged in the flesh trade; driven out of the society, considering the number of homes, and relationships that have gone kaput because of these " notorious creatures !! ". The peroration however, seemed to have been rehearsed for over a thousand times, for the sheer intensity with which the words, " a woman is a woman's worst enemy " were mouthed, it ended up giving me a plenty of goose bumps !!


The tiny hall errupted into a riot of applause. A few, " well said madam " and pointless congratulations hung heavily in the air. The women folk transformed her into a kind of totemic mother, and the few men who constituted the clique, were more than happy to inch closer and offer their niceties, and all the while sneaking a look at the cleavage of her over generous bosom, blazing beneath the thin drape of her black saree.


Oh no no, she wasnt a slut!! She certainly belonged to the respectable stratas of human society, who seem to have a pre-concieved notion by which they gauge the degrees of goodness and degrees of evils in the society. She showed men around her enough, to think that she had good stuff coming up, but didnt show things that would make them pounce upon her. She obviously is not a slut!! She cannot be a slut!!


Looking beyond her sartorial decollete, she appeared to be a mere representative of the Conventional Morality, who would stand on roof tops and yell, " you have done wrong, and in the larger interest of the society, we the custodians of culture, must punish you. And if we cannot then God will. "


It almost seems to be an auto-suggestive idea that God will always be there on their side. Why on earth would God risk swapping sides with a woman who sells her body every night, lets men rip off of her insides in exchange of a few spondulicks?? naah.............God isnt foolish enough to do that, after all isnt the image of God concieved to be that of a Man??


No woman is a born prostitute. But a woman who beds different men every night.................is she that bad?? Her ways may offend the unwritten corollary of the society, and the Conventional Morality, but then who the hell are these people to pass opinions and judgements, on how a woman chooses to earn money? who knows what circumstances drove her into this trade, every woman has her own reasons.


But why blame the woman? Why is she able to sell her body? The answer is quite obvious. Because there are plenty of " respectable " men, married men, fathers of families, all ready with cash in hand to buy a night with that body called " woman ". The Man doesnt seem to realise that everytime he penetrates her, he's actually making incisions on her already bruised and withered soul, but these " notorious creatures " ( according to that respectable woman ), are not meant to possess anything similar to that of a soul. She is not supposed to " feel".



Men will continue to enjoy their status of penetrators, as long as the virtuous and " respectable " women around the world make them believe that women indeed are the " notorious creatures " on earth. There's hardly any doubt that a woman is a woman's worst enemy, coz she would rehearse a thousand times to successfully cast aspersions on creatures of her own sex!!


Now Playing:: Jaane woh kaise......................Pyaasa ( 1957 )

Midnight Musings of a Poltroon!!

Its not everyday that you wake up to find folks around you packing off things in a hurry, as if the house is on fire. One of your feet is still in the droopy realms of sleep and you are convincingly playing possum, when the explosion takes place!! Your folks seem to be blabbering about the death of some kinswoman, so distant, that you kinda get lost in your own family branches. And before you even make an attempt to figure out the particular branch the kinswoman once seemed to have perched upon, your folks have already bid adieu. When you are still wondering about the celerity of time, the gravity of the whole situation incarcerates your consciousness and the tension breaks into a cold sweat!!!

...................................................................


All day long, i thought mom and dad were trying to pull my leg, with all that prossy talk about their not returning tonight. I was sure they would be home atleast by 10, till of course, mom confirmed on the phone that there aren't any trains from that god forbidden village once evening sets in. Its five minutes past midnight now, and my Self has become so wearisome, i almost wish i was dead!!


The house is drowned in a spooky silence since the past sixty minutes. Every faint sound seems to be magnified and resonated giving rise to black imagings, but i'm thankful to Edison; not a single light would be doused tonight. The doors and windows have been bolted and double checked. Even at home, i sit as if in a camp, encompassed by a hostile army of doubts, and despising myself for being such a poltroon.


I never knew i was so scared of staying alone, especially in the nights. The day time doesnt pose much of a problem, considering the intercourse that one has with creatures around him, but nights are made of a different fabric! My imagination is on an all time high tonight. Just a little while ago, i fixed myself near the window and tried to think of something cheerful. If ever you are alone, dnt even make an attempt to kill time by looking at the garden, coz the trees have a strange way of coming alive in the night. The eerie sough seemed to whisper something to me, and shadows resembling a poltergeist, was trying to tell about strange things that were on its mind but, could not make itself understood!! And the window remains closed for the rest of the night.



I tried to find some company through g-talk n Y-msngr, but none seemed to be a part of the green revolution. The cell phone ceases to be much of a company especially when you are single and books tend to become somnolents. So all you have with yourself on these strange nights, is music and your own thoughts to help you navigate through. I'm not sure if i can atleast grab a forty winks, but i trust caffeine and chocolate to keep me awake all night. I just hope i dnt succumb to some cardiac arrest, coz i'm dead scared!!

Phir milenge agar zinda rahi toh!!

Now Playing:: Broken glass............................Likin park

p.s:: wow guys this is my 50th post!!

My First Movie Review

Ok, Aamir Khan produces the movie, Rahman composes the music and the movie wins half the battle even before it hits the screens. Now enter, Imran Khan who almost looks like an angrez and makes the gals all over the country moon and swoon for him. And then there's perfect figure, perfect smile; Genelia, who every other guy wants to get naughty with!! And that is what Jaane tu ya jaane na is all about; one wonders whatever happened to the story!! For Heaven's sake give me a story, guys!! The director/writer offers a mere muddled construction of his imagination, and the poor viewer is left to discern his own conclusion, whether the movie was supposed to be a romantic one, a comic one, or a poor combination of both!!

The movie is doing good business courtesy its self-proclaimed "freshness ", but apart from that it looks as if it was made in a hurry, almost at gun-point!! The humor at most of the places looks forced, not the kind, that would induce a savage laugh but people still continued to laugh for reasons unknown to me!! Maybe i am the one who really has some problem, but i cant compel myself to laugh at an inferior humorist or wit!! The only places where i managed to laugh was when Naseer dictates the criteria, fulfilling which, a man of his family would be conferred with the status of a true mard!! Ratna Pathak Shah was superbly convincing in the role of Jai's ( Imran ) mother, but i was concentrating too much on Anuradha Patel, who plays Aditi's mother. Anybody who has seen Ijaazat and identified with the character of Maya, cant help but develop a massive all time crush on her.

Now, Jaane tu, is the story of a friendship which metamorphosizes into love. But, there's hardly a scene in the movie where the protagonists are actually found to be conversing. They seem to realise that they love each other, through interaction with other characters. One doesnt realise that he/she is in love with his/her friend all of a sudden. I waited through out the movie for Jai and Aditi to actually talk, instead Aditi ends up talking with her bro and Jai with Meghana.

A very thin line of demarcation exists between love and friendship, not complementing each other, but being relative to each other. Unfortunately the movie fails to explore this one, riveting its focus and attention to cater to the needs of the audience. The ending is hokey and way too irrational and illogical to even concieve. Imran is good but Genelia is found over acting in some of the scenes, Manjari fairs much better though.

But then, movies are meant to be watched and forgotten. All art at some point of time does divorce the logical, and its all a matter of individual tastes and preferences!!

Now Playing:: Tere bina zindagi se shikwa...............Aandhi

Midnight Confabulation

Sagar continued to play and sing ' tumse juda ho kar ', on the guitar. I was in a waking dream, thousand miles away from my surroundings. It was some ten minutes past midnight. When the rest of the world was busy dreaming dreams, me and my cousin were trying to kill time, courtesy the service provider's 'free' scheme. It was probably designed for nocturnal insomniacs like us!!


I was looking at a spot in the darkness. I was thinking something else. He was talking of everything on earth except what he really wanted to talk about. Communication between us was soon reduced to zero, like one of those odd silences which sometimes fall amidst conversations. Something seemed to disturb him, but he was making all efforts to restrain himself from opening up. As a good, ideal sister, i was supposed to sense his discomfiture, and broach the tenor of his uneasiness!! But i was too pre-occupied with my own thoughts to pay any attention to what he was trying to say at 12 in the night!! But, then there was this sudden ejaculation on his part which kinda brought me back to my senses!!


" Are you actually listening, or are you simply trying to show that you are listening?? I very well know that you arent, but atleast stop pouring your good for nothing, "yes & no's "!! Why is it so difficult for people to just "listen"?? " The call gets disconnected!!


I obviously didnt know how to react, and abreactions are better than no reactions at all. They hardly serve the purpose. Now what happened was this. During the course of our conversation ( or rather his talking ), there were moments where i was supposed to say a 'yes', but offered an indifferent 'no', and vice versa, with out fully understanding his question. It was more than enough to fan those flames of annoyance in him, and helped me review my fluid intelligence quotient, which remains an eternal negative.


Now most of us, given the hint of even a mildly sympathetic audience, will hardly leave a stone unturned, to talk about ourselves, take them into our confidence, and make all efforts to disclose our wisdom, sorrows, our follies, and never getting tired of breathing our fudge into their minds. But we seldom remain the same when we play the role of an audience!!


Of course one absent minded night, does not necessarily dis-credit me as a bad listener, but my complete ineptitude at offering words of consolation, when they are needed the most, does bring in those feelings of contrition which can hardly be fought with cold logic. Listening is an art in itself. Isnt life all about listening?? We listen to people, people listen to us. But, love grows when we listen without opinions, without judgements. Correcting them when they are wrong. Not with an intention to assert our superiority, but just coz we want them to be right. Listening helps resolve conflicts of all kind, coz all people want is somebody who could listen to them!!


Things are now settled between us, but picking up that unwritten/ unspoken corollary in conversations isnt my cup of tea. Maybe thats the reason, why i keep messing up relationships only to regret later in life!!


Now Playing:: Jaane tu ya jaane na.................title track

Signature of Time

Days were slowly beginning to gain an above average status. The Self was engaged in making itself known to strangers, whose correspondence made me rouse a little from my lethargy. But, somewhere down the road the Self got so Self-centered that, older relationships began receeding into that mist of oblivion, bearing the signature of Time as one's "past".


But does moving on in life means complete erasure of a person's memories, who seemed to be the proof and touchstone of all your cogitations?? One keeps waiting for that sporadic seance, and when it comes, we get too busy to tend to it, only to regain consciousness in those final moments, when everything looks like another vision, elusive as a gust of passing wind!!


But, then, the truest perceptions of life, have always been elusive and short lived in my case. Maybe thats becoz of my own ineptitude to deal with his absence from the world coz i still believe, " death ends a life, not a relationship ". But, acceptance is a feat in itself and to drive away from the Ego, to pay respect to the dead is a big ask. Does forgetting his birthday ensure that i've moved on in life or does remembering it a day later brings me back to the initial point??



And as opposed to the popular notion, time doesnt heal anything. It just categorises our life in to past, present, and future. Life would have been more beautiful, if Time could leave its signature only as one's "present".

Maybe i need to ask for forgiveness of the Universe for forgetting him just so soon!!

Now Playing:: Roz roz aankhon tale..............Asha & Amit Kumar

Laws of Attraction

At times i do hate Science. Yes, i'm a Science student but i hate it for its sheer anti-romantic approach for anything that happens within the periphery of its reasoning. For instance, if you say that you are attracted to this person and you are having a crush on him/her, our dear Science will make all efforts to convince you that its nothing but the work of something called hormones or in much sophisticated terms; chemical messengers!! But science cannot probably explain what it is that repels or attracts us in our dealings with other people. Why is it that we get attracted to some and remain indifferent to others? Its as if the hormones are on a vacation on most of the occasions and on returning make us go weak in the loins!!


What lies behind the initial attraction of the sexes is the principle of wonder and of arrested attention. It need not be only the sense of beauty, at times even a sense of strangeness, a sense of force ( as it was witnessed in The Fountainhead, but thats an entirely abnormal concept ), are able to fan those flames of emotions and sets our thoughts at sixes and sevens. It is with these inchoate, inexplicable, and uncategorised emotions that all attractions between the sexes assume a fairy-like delicacy and a romantic glow. The attraction need not culminate into a life-long commitment, but the momentary pleasure that it confers on us makes us cling to it for the rest of our lives, and every moment added in the encounter becomes a bonus moment.


.........................and how can i ever indite, how hard i tried to earn those bonus moments yesterday at the book store. Now, most girls wouldnt have found him attractive, but i have a kink of developing instant crushes on guys with glasses and a hint of a five o clock shadow on their faces. It was probably the manner in which he made his entry with large dollops of confidence, blue jeans, sleeves of the white shirt folded a little above his wrist, that almost made me utter a mental "wow"!! ...................and so my thoughts ran...............


" So he has given a list to the keeper it means he isnt here for his own books, probably not much of a reader himself ( 2 on a scale of 10 ). Oh no why is he inching towards me, i mean the novel section!! uh huh Satanic Verses, a Rushdie fan, so he does read after all!! ok our glances meet finally, and what firm fashion his lips are shut!! Does he fancy for girls with specs as well?? But men seldom get attracted to nerds, and Universe why the hell did you make me myopic, and with these glasses i look like a girl professor!! "


" So Rushdie didnt impress him much, and neither did Puzo, Coelho, and some others i cant see.......................he's totally within my range of vision now, but what is that book which seems to have held his attention?? Gosh!! i cant see it. The keeper is back with his listed books, and he's now moving towards the counter. I'll have to make my choice n rush to the counter to check out his choice. ok, fine, i settle with, Code Name God ( Mani Bhaumik ).........."


" omg these are psychology books, but where is the object of my curiosity?? .............noooooo, not Segal again!! Shall i start a conversation?? Acts of Faith is indeed a good book. But, what if he knows about Oliver and Jenny more than i do?? Its always good to ward off conversations about a writer whose best seller never got sullied by your hands. Deborah........i'm already beginning to envy you, go make him fall in love with you, and let him envy Timothy in return."


Maybe its high time, i get my hands on Love Story and put aside all those silly reasons for not having it read till date. But thats secondary, and who ever that guy was must be thanked for yet another un-carnal encounter of my life. Laws of Attraction huh!!


Now Playing:: Mera kuch saamaan.................Ijaazat

Intramural-ities of Life

After two months of ennui

• Its all about dead classrooms, dust clothed benches, designer cobweb walls, and dis-functional lights.

• Its all about un-inspiring lectures, pointless papers, blood sucking exams, and reluctant students.

• Its all about multi tasking, which includes, partially listening to the non-smiling and bespectacled professor expounding somebody else's theories, and partially counting the number of minutes left for the class to get over.

• Its all about springing back to attention and life with the musical intervention of the bell, and

• Its all about giving a nasty stare and silently telling one's quondam rival, " lets meet in the exam hall dear!! "

But then, its also

• All about catching up with the latest updates in each other's lives.

• All about vying with each other in the canteen for " the glutton of the day!! "

• All about discussing the theory of relativity on an afternoon of steady rainfall over a hot cuppa.

• All about enjoying the first day of the final year of graduation and looking forward for all the days to come.

And its also,

• All about welcoming our common intramural existence for a last and final time!!

Now Playing:: Tum se hi....................Jab We Met

p.s:: A third grade post. Creativity on an all time low!!

The Biryani Writer

We are Indians and we all like our ghar ki daal. But our predilection for mom-made food does not necessarily make us eschew the ocassional biryani. Infact we prefer having biryani most of the times!! Now, Chetan Bhagat enjoys a similar biryani status amidst book lovers, though most of the readers will deny accepting any such theory. These are the people who accuse his books to be way too entertaining, hokey,etc etc. Now, what else is the primary function of a book or are people too scared to get entertained?? Ironically these are the people who also figure among the first buyers of his books!! ' Reading ' first to ' criticise ' first........that sure is a deadly combination!!

At times according to our age, mood, and experience, and at times in the different hours of the same day, we prefer one writer, one book to another. And the best part about Chetan's books is that he saves the reader from the sheer pain of thinking, and the reader does not have to pay the price of losing him/her in another man's mind. Maybe thats the reason why he is so in vogue. However, one might question his writing skills which hardly match international standards, but then he caters to the needs of the domestic readers, the majority of which are not book readers anyway. Its always better to begin with Chetan than opting for say a Nabokov work.

Even the great Narayan was criticised for writing " pedestrian " work, so its not much of a surprise if Chetan generates much of flak; simplicity is never accepted easily anyways. And with the ever increasing inflation, one should be a fool to complain about the price of his books. My cousin ( another love-hate reader ) says there's nothing to learn from his books. Of course his books are not beautiful waters of learning when on plunging you emerge as a scholar. They are like watching a good movie; total paisa vasool. And no harm ever came in getting entertained. Why is it so difficult for people to understand that different people have different ways of telling stories??

This is what my cousin ( Akash ) had to say about Chetan's latest book, The 3 Mistakes of my Life:

Akash: " You know what are the three mistakes of his life?"

1. Studying at the IIT


2. Being an IIM pass out, and the most horrible one


3. Writing a book

We enjoyed a good laugh at this one, but then people will always envy them, who they wanted to be, but could not!!

My verdict on this book: a total entertainer, you wont demand your time back. We like having our biryani remember!!

Now Playing:: Aane wala pal.......................Kishore

Previously Titled Something Else

Previously titled as RANDOM THOUGHTS

• I know this is a much cliched title but it comes quite handy especially when your creativity gives you a slip. However, if creativity is directly proportional to one's leisure, then its ironical that, even if i seem to have all the time in the world, i can hardly come up with a title better than that. So my equation of creativity and leisure seems to be balancing itself in a lousy circle of reciprocal worthiness and unworthiness.

• But what exactly does being " creative " mean? For there's nothing left under the sun that can be called as "new". So all that a so called " creative " person can do is find variable forms of already existing elements by changing their basic order and arrangement. How on earth can that be called as " creative "?? Its more like " re-creation ", which tends to be facetious. Maybe "imaginative " is the word, but even that sounds vague enough to replace " creativity ".

• With the college scheduled to re-open next week, there's going to be yet another major dip in my " creativity ", and my presence in the virtual world more and more doubtful. Still measures would be taken to churn out the same number of blog posts every month, coz blogging my dear friends sure is " addictive ". Every trivial thing looks like a potential post, every little incident which on other occasions would have skipped our conscious observation now looks at us with expecting eyes all ready to be reported, explored, examined, and criticised in the form of a well embellished blog post. Gosh!! i find myself taking mental notes all the time, its like a never ending dictation of sorts. Its blogging blues yet again.

• This post is largely due to the itch which would not stop till i scratched something on the keyboard. It was intended to be a congeries of thoughts, but turned out to be YAP on creativity and blogging in general. And now that its over, ab iska title kya rakhun. Initially i did think of something like ' Random Thoughts ', hence the beginning, but the thoughts are way too concrete to be labelled as " random ". I know you have read the title by now, but i, the writer of this thing still is clueless about the title. I wonder what comes first to the mind, ' title or the post'??

Before i sign off, here's some food for thought, provided by some fellow blogger, whose URL has skipped my memory:

" Blog readership is equivalent to virginity. You know you are going to lose it sooner or later."

Now Playing:: Eternal Flame......................MLTR

p.s:: The title is due to the sheer lack of " creativity "!!! A confused construction i should say.

Love, Sex & Lies

I was in the ninth standard when one of my maternal uncles got married. It was a much talked about ceremony coz it was the first ' love ' marriage to take place in our family. Since there was nothing to cavil about, my grandmother fixed the match. Moreover by some strange stroke of fate, aunty somehow managed to score at par with our family in the departments of caste, creed, color etc etc, and all the little other things considered way too important before confering a connubial status on two loving souls. Everything was now settled and the family breathed a sigh of relief consoling themselves with the verity of the fact that, ' what is fated cannot be blotted.'


Being a closely knit family, we kept hearing about the increasing uxoriousness of uncle, and the cloud-cuckoo land that both of them seemed to have retreated into. They became an ideal couple and all the kids in the family ( including me ) mentally vowed to marry the person, with whom they would fall in love in the near future!! We were all set to begin a concatenation of love marriages in our family.


But sudden as death came down the news of the increasing distances between the hitherto ideal couple. It grew to such an extent that they started living in separate apartments. We were forced to take a renege of all our mental vows. It was horrible to watch our role models fail so miserably. The causes for the relationship going kaput were discussed in hushed tones amongst the family members, and for some strange reasons we kids never got to know, what exactly went wrong. Everytime i mustered courage to clarify my growing curiosity, i was silenced by those vacuous stares of mom abolishing all further enquiry..................till of course yesterday............


Its the festive season out here, and uncle flies down from Delhi around this time of the year to pay his visit to grandma. Since the past six years i've been trying to broach the tenor of my curiosity, and after much waiting i was atlast blessed with that opportunity ............


On being asked what went wrong, i was greeted with the most cynical smiles ever seen across the visage of a family member. Obviously, my uncle wasnt too comfortable with me questioning about his personal life, but i realised that it takes sincerity in one's words to make the other one talk...........

" I think you are grown up enough to understand. But i hope you dont end up laughing once you hear the reasons!! "
Laugh at love?? i thought........

Please excuse me for failing to quote my uncle verbatim, but the reasons stated by him were something which i thought are applicable to anybody else, but Indians. But this was happening to my own uncle and it was too much for me to digest.


Perhaps the most striking of the modern incongruities of marriages is the muddle which exists in the sexual field. The reason, which was quite bluntly stated by my uncle was that both of them were sexually incompatible!!!


Globally, sexual incompatibility is one of the most common causes of marital disasters. The wife is suffering from some nervous exhaustion, and it is a case where intercourse should be avoided pro tem. The husband listens to what the doctor says, but at night the man must enjoy his wife sexually. She does not want it, but she is his wife, he is a man, therefore it is " necessary ".


At a vigesimal age, i dnt think i stand a chance of approaching this vital intimate need of man, but this avuncular talk has left me contemplating on the futility of marriage when considered from the sexual angle. Of course most of my questions were left unanswered, coz i was too embarrassed to ask them and he was doubly embarrassed to face me.


But the point was made: Marriage as opposed to the popular belief of the " union of two minds ", in reality is contemplated only from the sexual angle; although few people will admit that fact. Its a queer way in which society seems to have evolved over the aeons; we are taught to shield ourselves with our own defensive lies. Its quite ironical that sex is the only instinct which we share with animals!!!


Now Playing:: I'm gonna be around....................MLTR

.......Becoz You Are Guilty.......

The very thought of it makes my head run all over me, driving me into pitiful states of existence. I shouldnt have read this book in the first place. Its doing more harm than good. It seems to compel my thoughts to turn backward; an act that i've been trying to avoid, for it fills me with regret and contrition. It isnt that easy living a life full of regrets and being constantly reminded of a person who is no more. A person whose rambling chat looked academically re-freshing on sleepless nights. What a pity, i cannot even utter his name!!! A person who paved the way for the evolution of an advanced life form within the existing one, only to desert you in this stage of inchoate amelioration...................leading to nothing except more and more degeneration.


" Dont assume that its too late to get involved." Thats what the book says, and the more i think about it, the more i realise, how late i actually am!! Of not getting a chance to say a final good-bye, and all the numerous little things that i always wanted to say. How can i not assume that i'm not late. Its very easy saying, " forgive yourself ", but its a hard task, when the soul keeps reminding you of all the things that you've done, things that you could have done, but you never did. It takes a lot of courage to strip down to your soul and say, " i forgive myself ".

• " Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do."
• " Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it."
• " Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others."
• " Dont assume that it is too late to get involved."

These aphorisms would hardly affect your cogitations, and there's every possibility of you discarding them as " spiritual shit ", but for people like me, having been in similar circumstances, its almost impossible to unconnect. I wont recommend this book, if you are already surviving under a load of regrets. It has left me shedding bitter tears over my arrant helplessness.

But its so true:

" Death ends a life, not a relationship."

Anyway, the book is tuesdays with morrie.


Now playing:: Meri duniya hai.........................Vaastav

Inter alia

• After two years of incessant requests by my friend, i finally created an account in orkut, and after a week of orkuting i'm all set to delete my account from this good for nothing social networking site. For one, i do not believe in writing sweet lies about each other, and getting overwhelmed by the number of fans, profile visits, and stupid scrap book entries. You might say, ' bandar kya jaane adrak ka swaad ', but note karne waali baat yeh hai ki since i am a bandar, i've absolutely no reason, whatsoever to taste adrak in the first place. This bandar is quite happy in its kingdom of fruits and nuts, and has no need to venture in the zones of cheap rhizome material!!

• Moreover such sites are a huge mis-match for people like me, who never socialise either in the virtual or in the real world. But the initial repellant was actually a poll in our school community which savagely targets the physical incongruity of a particular teacher, and the worst part of it is that people actually responded to such a sadistic endeavour by casting their votes. My imagination has been quite active ever since, and i'm planning to drop in an anonymous mail to that stupid community creator, and threaten him by inserting certain legal terms for indulging in smearing and traducement of a person's name and reputation. But somethings wont change. People will continue their mission of making life hell for those who have the misfortune of being born slightly altered from the rest of mankind. And under no circumstances would i allow myself to be an active member of such a community. Let Friendship, socialising and other such sophisms go to hell!!

• Now moving ahead. The Mayor of Casterbridge is finally over, and here is the book review.

• I never liked watching movies, but off late, i have been spending a lot of time on the goggle-box surfing between Star movies and sony pix. I have no clue what made me cry while watching ' The Substance of Fire ', and i'm still not able to discern a connection between the movie and its title. And dude, Timothy Hutton looks soo like Antonio Banderas, but i preferred Hutton's ruffian look as Dr. Shepherd in The Iceman, than the clean shaven look in The Substance.. The movie also stars Sarah Jessica Parker, and both Hutton n Sarah were absolutely adorable as brother and sister. Its a must watch for book lovers.

• So thats it guys. There's hardly anything else to report or post-worthy, so its better i sign off. Toh main chali ( pyaar ki gali nahin oyye ), Anand ka gaana sunne. Catch ya later, bye for now.

Now Playing:: Jaane kya........................Pyaar ke Side Effects

In Search of Thyself

I know this blog lacks direction but the last thing that you can expect from its not so proud owner is a write-up on the much dreaded philosophy called " direction ". Even a soupcon of thought investment in this regard would have landed me amidst much verdure pastures that the Universe confers on most of its beings. But the status quo of my life is largely becoz of my being improvident and impulsive in all matters, and now i find myself facing the coulter of destiny, making slow and painful incisions, though not somatic yet dextrous enough to leave behind an ugly cicatrix, which never fails to remind me the futility of some of the decisions taken, regarding the few career options that i had got.


I prayed to become a doc and my family prayed for an engineering degree to such an extent that the poor universe got confused in the melee of prayers and one fine day i found myself treading the road less travelled; physics. It was largely becoz of this fall in life which deepened my respect for the power of gravity as the ego and self confidence suffered a major beating. And now, with the sophomore year coming to an end the coleoptile has reached its point of breakage, and will render its services for just another year, before leaving me all alone to face the world as it is. Employment seems out of question pro tem and i cant taste anything of its like before i earn a masters degree. There's however a great sense of delight in being alive and free from employment but the delight gets cankered when every specie that you spend is heavily questioned and the worst part of it is that people expect answers and no blank faces can ever bail you out of such sticky wickets.


At times however, i regret the decision of not studying engineering especially when i see most of my friends getting placed and discussing their humunguous pay packages on social networking sites. Suddenly every aera gera nattu khera is an engineer these dayz, courtesy the ever mushrooming private colleges in our state. And of course there's this thing called eM Bee A. Well back in Jan of this year i did attend a couple of demo classes and these are some of the facts which i discovered about myself

1. i'm good at maths and english
2. exceptionally poor in logic and reasoning
3. i love group discussions ( khud ki tareef thoda karlun: i actually scored the highest in one of the gds, where i had to defend pollution, and not to mention that they have been pestering me ever since to join )
4. there's hardly any fervour left in me to pursue an mba or to make money for that matter
5. i am too much in love with my subject that i cannot possibly dump it for anyother branch of knowledge no matter how lucrative it might be, and
6. i hardly have the patience to waste my mind on too many things n i'm really bad at providing solutions, so it would never make me a good manager anyway

So you can scarcely concieve how much the initial disappointment of not getting into a medical college, the resulting anguish, and the current studies have affected my thought process. Still clueless about what the future holds for me, but there's no point in thinking about the future if i cease to enjoy the present.



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