Laws of Attraction

At times i do hate Science. Yes, i'm a Science student but i hate it for its sheer anti-romantic approach for anything that happens within the periphery of its reasoning. For instance, if you say that you are attracted to this person and you are having a crush on him/her, our dear Science will make all efforts to convince you that its nothing but the work of something called hormones or in much sophisticated terms; chemical messengers!! But science cannot probably explain what it is that repels or attracts us in our dealings with other people. Why is it that we get attracted to some and remain indifferent to others? Its as if the hormones are on a vacation on most of the occasions and on returning make us go weak in the loins!!


What lies behind the initial attraction of the sexes is the principle of wonder and of arrested attention. It need not be only the sense of beauty, at times even a sense of strangeness, a sense of force ( as it was witnessed in The Fountainhead, but thats an entirely abnormal concept ), are able to fan those flames of emotions and sets our thoughts at sixes and sevens. It is with these inchoate, inexplicable, and uncategorised emotions that all attractions between the sexes assume a fairy-like delicacy and a romantic glow. The attraction need not culminate into a life-long commitment, but the momentary pleasure that it confers on us makes us cling to it for the rest of our lives, and every moment added in the encounter becomes a bonus moment.


.........................and how can i ever indite, how hard i tried to earn those bonus moments yesterday at the book store. Now, most girls wouldnt have found him attractive, but i have a kink of developing instant crushes on guys with glasses and a hint of a five o clock shadow on their faces. It was probably the manner in which he made his entry with large dollops of confidence, blue jeans, sleeves of the white shirt folded a little above his wrist, that almost made me utter a mental "wow"!! ...................and so my thoughts ran...............


" So he has given a list to the keeper it means he isnt here for his own books, probably not much of a reader himself ( 2 on a scale of 10 ). Oh no why is he inching towards me, i mean the novel section!! uh huh Satanic Verses, a Rushdie fan, so he does read after all!! ok our glances meet finally, and what firm fashion his lips are shut!! Does he fancy for girls with specs as well?? But men seldom get attracted to nerds, and Universe why the hell did you make me myopic, and with these glasses i look like a girl professor!! "


" So Rushdie didnt impress him much, and neither did Puzo, Coelho, and some others i cant see.......................he's totally within my range of vision now, but what is that book which seems to have held his attention?? Gosh!! i cant see it. The keeper is back with his listed books, and he's now moving towards the counter. I'll have to make my choice n rush to the counter to check out his choice. ok, fine, i settle with, Code Name God ( Mani Bhaumik ).........."


" omg these are psychology books, but where is the object of my curiosity?? .............noooooo, not Segal again!! Shall i start a conversation?? Acts of Faith is indeed a good book. But, what if he knows about Oliver and Jenny more than i do?? Its always good to ward off conversations about a writer whose best seller never got sullied by your hands. Deborah........i'm already beginning to envy you, go make him fall in love with you, and let him envy Timothy in return."


Maybe its high time, i get my hands on Love Story and put aside all those silly reasons for not having it read till date. But thats secondary, and who ever that guy was must be thanked for yet another un-carnal encounter of my life. Laws of Attraction huh!!


Now Playing:: Mera kuch saamaan.................Ijaazat

Intramural-ities of Life

After two months of ennui

• Its all about dead classrooms, dust clothed benches, designer cobweb walls, and dis-functional lights.

• Its all about un-inspiring lectures, pointless papers, blood sucking exams, and reluctant students.

• Its all about multi tasking, which includes, partially listening to the non-smiling and bespectacled professor expounding somebody else's theories, and partially counting the number of minutes left for the class to get over.

• Its all about springing back to attention and life with the musical intervention of the bell, and

• Its all about giving a nasty stare and silently telling one's quondam rival, " lets meet in the exam hall dear!! "

But then, its also

• All about catching up with the latest updates in each other's lives.

• All about vying with each other in the canteen for " the glutton of the day!! "

• All about discussing the theory of relativity on an afternoon of steady rainfall over a hot cuppa.

• All about enjoying the first day of the final year of graduation and looking forward for all the days to come.

And its also,

• All about welcoming our common intramural existence for a last and final time!!

Now Playing:: Tum se hi....................Jab We Met

p.s:: A third grade post. Creativity on an all time low!!

The Biryani Writer

We are Indians and we all like our ghar ki daal. But our predilection for mom-made food does not necessarily make us eschew the ocassional biryani. Infact we prefer having biryani most of the times!! Now, Chetan Bhagat enjoys a similar biryani status amidst book lovers, though most of the readers will deny accepting any such theory. These are the people who accuse his books to be way too entertaining, hokey,etc etc. Now, what else is the primary function of a book or are people too scared to get entertained?? Ironically these are the people who also figure among the first buyers of his books!! ' Reading ' first to ' criticise ' first........that sure is a deadly combination!!

At times according to our age, mood, and experience, and at times in the different hours of the same day, we prefer one writer, one book to another. And the best part about Chetan's books is that he saves the reader from the sheer pain of thinking, and the reader does not have to pay the price of losing him/her in another man's mind. Maybe thats the reason why he is so in vogue. However, one might question his writing skills which hardly match international standards, but then he caters to the needs of the domestic readers, the majority of which are not book readers anyway. Its always better to begin with Chetan than opting for say a Nabokov work.

Even the great Narayan was criticised for writing " pedestrian " work, so its not much of a surprise if Chetan generates much of flak; simplicity is never accepted easily anyways. And with the ever increasing inflation, one should be a fool to complain about the price of his books. My cousin ( another love-hate reader ) says there's nothing to learn from his books. Of course his books are not beautiful waters of learning when on plunging you emerge as a scholar. They are like watching a good movie; total paisa vasool. And no harm ever came in getting entertained. Why is it so difficult for people to understand that different people have different ways of telling stories??

This is what my cousin ( Akash ) had to say about Chetan's latest book, The 3 Mistakes of my Life:

Akash: " You know what are the three mistakes of his life?"

1. Studying at the IIT


2. Being an IIM pass out, and the most horrible one


3. Writing a book

We enjoyed a good laugh at this one, but then people will always envy them, who they wanted to be, but could not!!

My verdict on this book: a total entertainer, you wont demand your time back. We like having our biryani remember!!

Now Playing:: Aane wala pal.......................Kishore

Previously Titled Something Else

Previously titled as RANDOM THOUGHTS

• I know this is a much cliched title but it comes quite handy especially when your creativity gives you a slip. However, if creativity is directly proportional to one's leisure, then its ironical that, even if i seem to have all the time in the world, i can hardly come up with a title better than that. So my equation of creativity and leisure seems to be balancing itself in a lousy circle of reciprocal worthiness and unworthiness.

• But what exactly does being " creative " mean? For there's nothing left under the sun that can be called as "new". So all that a so called " creative " person can do is find variable forms of already existing elements by changing their basic order and arrangement. How on earth can that be called as " creative "?? Its more like " re-creation ", which tends to be facetious. Maybe "imaginative " is the word, but even that sounds vague enough to replace " creativity ".

• With the college scheduled to re-open next week, there's going to be yet another major dip in my " creativity ", and my presence in the virtual world more and more doubtful. Still measures would be taken to churn out the same number of blog posts every month, coz blogging my dear friends sure is " addictive ". Every trivial thing looks like a potential post, every little incident which on other occasions would have skipped our conscious observation now looks at us with expecting eyes all ready to be reported, explored, examined, and criticised in the form of a well embellished blog post. Gosh!! i find myself taking mental notes all the time, its like a never ending dictation of sorts. Its blogging blues yet again.

• This post is largely due to the itch which would not stop till i scratched something on the keyboard. It was intended to be a congeries of thoughts, but turned out to be YAP on creativity and blogging in general. And now that its over, ab iska title kya rakhun. Initially i did think of something like ' Random Thoughts ', hence the beginning, but the thoughts are way too concrete to be labelled as " random ". I know you have read the title by now, but i, the writer of this thing still is clueless about the title. I wonder what comes first to the mind, ' title or the post'??

Before i sign off, here's some food for thought, provided by some fellow blogger, whose URL has skipped my memory:

" Blog readership is equivalent to virginity. You know you are going to lose it sooner or later."

Now Playing:: Eternal Flame......................MLTR

p.s:: The title is due to the sheer lack of " creativity "!!! A confused construction i should say.

Love, Sex & Lies

I was in the ninth standard when one of my maternal uncles got married. It was a much talked about ceremony coz it was the first ' love ' marriage to take place in our family. Since there was nothing to cavil about, my grandmother fixed the match. Moreover by some strange stroke of fate, aunty somehow managed to score at par with our family in the departments of caste, creed, color etc etc, and all the little other things considered way too important before confering a connubial status on two loving souls. Everything was now settled and the family breathed a sigh of relief consoling themselves with the verity of the fact that, ' what is fated cannot be blotted.'


Being a closely knit family, we kept hearing about the increasing uxoriousness of uncle, and the cloud-cuckoo land that both of them seemed to have retreated into. They became an ideal couple and all the kids in the family ( including me ) mentally vowed to marry the person, with whom they would fall in love in the near future!! We were all set to begin a concatenation of love marriages in our family.


But sudden as death came down the news of the increasing distances between the hitherto ideal couple. It grew to such an extent that they started living in separate apartments. We were forced to take a renege of all our mental vows. It was horrible to watch our role models fail so miserably. The causes for the relationship going kaput were discussed in hushed tones amongst the family members, and for some strange reasons we kids never got to know, what exactly went wrong. Everytime i mustered courage to clarify my growing curiosity, i was silenced by those vacuous stares of mom abolishing all further enquiry..................till of course yesterday............


Its the festive season out here, and uncle flies down from Delhi around this time of the year to pay his visit to grandma. Since the past six years i've been trying to broach the tenor of my curiosity, and after much waiting i was atlast blessed with that opportunity ............


On being asked what went wrong, i was greeted with the most cynical smiles ever seen across the visage of a family member. Obviously, my uncle wasnt too comfortable with me questioning about his personal life, but i realised that it takes sincerity in one's words to make the other one talk...........

" I think you are grown up enough to understand. But i hope you dont end up laughing once you hear the reasons!! "
Laugh at love?? i thought........

Please excuse me for failing to quote my uncle verbatim, but the reasons stated by him were something which i thought are applicable to anybody else, but Indians. But this was happening to my own uncle and it was too much for me to digest.


Perhaps the most striking of the modern incongruities of marriages is the muddle which exists in the sexual field. The reason, which was quite bluntly stated by my uncle was that both of them were sexually incompatible!!!


Globally, sexual incompatibility is one of the most common causes of marital disasters. The wife is suffering from some nervous exhaustion, and it is a case where intercourse should be avoided pro tem. The husband listens to what the doctor says, but at night the man must enjoy his wife sexually. She does not want it, but she is his wife, he is a man, therefore it is " necessary ".


At a vigesimal age, i dnt think i stand a chance of approaching this vital intimate need of man, but this avuncular talk has left me contemplating on the futility of marriage when considered from the sexual angle. Of course most of my questions were left unanswered, coz i was too embarrassed to ask them and he was doubly embarrassed to face me.


But the point was made: Marriage as opposed to the popular belief of the " union of two minds ", in reality is contemplated only from the sexual angle; although few people will admit that fact. Its a queer way in which society seems to have evolved over the aeons; we are taught to shield ourselves with our own defensive lies. Its quite ironical that sex is the only instinct which we share with animals!!!


Now Playing:: I'm gonna be around....................MLTR

.......Becoz You Are Guilty.......

The very thought of it makes my head run all over me, driving me into pitiful states of existence. I shouldnt have read this book in the first place. Its doing more harm than good. It seems to compel my thoughts to turn backward; an act that i've been trying to avoid, for it fills me with regret and contrition. It isnt that easy living a life full of regrets and being constantly reminded of a person who is no more. A person whose rambling chat looked academically re-freshing on sleepless nights. What a pity, i cannot even utter his name!!! A person who paved the way for the evolution of an advanced life form within the existing one, only to desert you in this stage of inchoate amelioration...................leading to nothing except more and more degeneration.


" Dont assume that its too late to get involved." Thats what the book says, and the more i think about it, the more i realise, how late i actually am!! Of not getting a chance to say a final good-bye, and all the numerous little things that i always wanted to say. How can i not assume that i'm not late. Its very easy saying, " forgive yourself ", but its a hard task, when the soul keeps reminding you of all the things that you've done, things that you could have done, but you never did. It takes a lot of courage to strip down to your soul and say, " i forgive myself ".

• " Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do."
• " Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it."
• " Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others."
• " Dont assume that it is too late to get involved."

These aphorisms would hardly affect your cogitations, and there's every possibility of you discarding them as " spiritual shit ", but for people like me, having been in similar circumstances, its almost impossible to unconnect. I wont recommend this book, if you are already surviving under a load of regrets. It has left me shedding bitter tears over my arrant helplessness.

But its so true:

" Death ends a life, not a relationship."

Anyway, the book is tuesdays with morrie.


Now playing:: Meri duniya hai.........................Vaastav

Inter alia

• After two years of incessant requests by my friend, i finally created an account in orkut, and after a week of orkuting i'm all set to delete my account from this good for nothing social networking site. For one, i do not believe in writing sweet lies about each other, and getting overwhelmed by the number of fans, profile visits, and stupid scrap book entries. You might say, ' bandar kya jaane adrak ka swaad ', but note karne waali baat yeh hai ki since i am a bandar, i've absolutely no reason, whatsoever to taste adrak in the first place. This bandar is quite happy in its kingdom of fruits and nuts, and has no need to venture in the zones of cheap rhizome material!!

• Moreover such sites are a huge mis-match for people like me, who never socialise either in the virtual or in the real world. But the initial repellant was actually a poll in our school community which savagely targets the physical incongruity of a particular teacher, and the worst part of it is that people actually responded to such a sadistic endeavour by casting their votes. My imagination has been quite active ever since, and i'm planning to drop in an anonymous mail to that stupid community creator, and threaten him by inserting certain legal terms for indulging in smearing and traducement of a person's name and reputation. But somethings wont change. People will continue their mission of making life hell for those who have the misfortune of being born slightly altered from the rest of mankind. And under no circumstances would i allow myself to be an active member of such a community. Let Friendship, socialising and other such sophisms go to hell!!

• Now moving ahead. The Mayor of Casterbridge is finally over, and here is the book review.

• I never liked watching movies, but off late, i have been spending a lot of time on the goggle-box surfing between Star movies and sony pix. I have no clue what made me cry while watching ' The Substance of Fire ', and i'm still not able to discern a connection between the movie and its title. And dude, Timothy Hutton looks soo like Antonio Banderas, but i preferred Hutton's ruffian look as Dr. Shepherd in The Iceman, than the clean shaven look in The Substance.. The movie also stars Sarah Jessica Parker, and both Hutton n Sarah were absolutely adorable as brother and sister. Its a must watch for book lovers.

• So thats it guys. There's hardly anything else to report or post-worthy, so its better i sign off. Toh main chali ( pyaar ki gali nahin oyye ), Anand ka gaana sunne. Catch ya later, bye for now.

Now Playing:: Jaane kya........................Pyaar ke Side Effects

In Search of Thyself

I know this blog lacks direction but the last thing that you can expect from its not so proud owner is a write-up on the much dreaded philosophy called " direction ". Even a soupcon of thought investment in this regard would have landed me amidst much verdure pastures that the Universe confers on most of its beings. But the status quo of my life is largely becoz of my being improvident and impulsive in all matters, and now i find myself facing the coulter of destiny, making slow and painful incisions, though not somatic yet dextrous enough to leave behind an ugly cicatrix, which never fails to remind me the futility of some of the decisions taken, regarding the few career options that i had got.


I prayed to become a doc and my family prayed for an engineering degree to such an extent that the poor universe got confused in the melee of prayers and one fine day i found myself treading the road less travelled; physics. It was largely becoz of this fall in life which deepened my respect for the power of gravity as the ego and self confidence suffered a major beating. And now, with the sophomore year coming to an end the coleoptile has reached its point of breakage, and will render its services for just another year, before leaving me all alone to face the world as it is. Employment seems out of question pro tem and i cant taste anything of its like before i earn a masters degree. There's however a great sense of delight in being alive and free from employment but the delight gets cankered when every specie that you spend is heavily questioned and the worst part of it is that people expect answers and no blank faces can ever bail you out of such sticky wickets.


At times however, i regret the decision of not studying engineering especially when i see most of my friends getting placed and discussing their humunguous pay packages on social networking sites. Suddenly every aera gera nattu khera is an engineer these dayz, courtesy the ever mushrooming private colleges in our state. And of course there's this thing called eM Bee A. Well back in Jan of this year i did attend a couple of demo classes and these are some of the facts which i discovered about myself

1. i'm good at maths and english
2. exceptionally poor in logic and reasoning
3. i love group discussions ( khud ki tareef thoda karlun: i actually scored the highest in one of the gds, where i had to defend pollution, and not to mention that they have been pestering me ever since to join )
4. there's hardly any fervour left in me to pursue an mba or to make money for that matter
5. i am too much in love with my subject that i cannot possibly dump it for anyother branch of knowledge no matter how lucrative it might be, and
6. i hardly have the patience to waste my mind on too many things n i'm really bad at providing solutions, so it would never make me a good manager anyway

So you can scarcely concieve how much the initial disappointment of not getting into a medical college, the resulting anguish, and the current studies have affected my thought process. Still clueless about what the future holds for me, but there's no point in thinking about the future if i cease to enjoy the present.



LOST!!


Now Playing:: Breathless...........................The Corrs