Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Missing Person

On singular occasions when my thoughts should have been better engaged, I detect nothing but a black inanity. A face in the darkness whispers something, and in time his slender personality fades away. The meeting is broken up without a word having been spoken, but the heart has been fed. Moments later, when the scene is evoked during an abstracted loneliness, I recall something of his smile, but even that seems to fade in due time. To me, at all events, my life is to bring nothing more sweet than the smile of this person who played no part in it! Ah! These séances, producing a numbness which makes the head nod and the eyes heavy with sleep!

Now Playing:: Zarasi aahat hoti hai…………….Lata

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Walking Destinies

“When you feel that the idle vein is returning upon you, close your eyes, and take a walk”, said my auld friend of auld times.

“With open eyes in the daytime, I seem to stumble upon dark mountains. My waking life has much of the confusion, trouble and obscure perplexity of a bad dream. I can’t do what you ask me to do”, said I in auld times.

“You don’t need sleep to induce dreams, do you? Just close your eyes, and walk through your dreams. Remember, that the dreams didn’t knock at your door; you knocked at the door of dreams. Play the guest and fancy yourself to any degree or standing as you please! But make sure you walk out unmolested”, said my auld friend of auld times.

“For, the credit of my imagination, I’m ashamed to confess that how prosaic my dreams have grown. They are never romantic, seldom even colorful. I can never have that fine dream, which you are talking about, and what if I knock and a nightmare opens the door?” said I in auld times.

“Tell me what sort of nightmares you have?” asked my auld friend of auld times.

“I don’t know. I can’t tell you”, said I in auld times.

“Every nightmare has a face and a name!” said my auld friend of auld times.

“Yea, it has a face and a name too, but to take it, will lead to associations, dates, and memories, and all the other furniture that needs to be discarded”, I replied in auld times.

“A nightmare doesn’t last forever. But, after sometime when your walking destinies return you to this neighborhood again, I promise your nightmare would’ve lost its face. You won’t see me again. I can’t take away my name though, I fear, it’ll have to stay with you forever. You may open your eyes now!” said my auld friend of auld times.

“But it is time to close. Your importance is from the past.” I say in present times!

Now Playing:: Veena (instrumental)……………Talvin Singh

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Beyond Love!

The poverty of his dreams continued to mortify him.
“It did rain that night”, he thought.
Nights like those do not come along often.
He seized it. That night something happened!
“Oh dear, how easy it is to get a man to love you”, she said,
As she kept massaging his shoulders, a lingering
Wind made her unruly loose tresses
Brush against his cheeks.
That soft touch of her tresses, and he could hardly breathe.
He looked up into her eyes,
Sure he could see love there.
Never before did he find her,
Softer, younger, and lovelier!
He found a thing to do.
Her tresses in his hand and he pulled her towards him,
And wound them thrice around her throat.
Her eyes seem to laugh.
She felt no pain. She knew,
It is easy to get a man to love you, for
They hardly ask for things
Beyond Love and Life!

Now Playing:: Tum aagaye ho……………..Aandhi

Sunday, January 4, 2009


This master of mesmerizing symphony, not content to have laid my soul prostrate, goes on, in his power, to inflict more bliss than lies in my capacity to receive. He seems to be impatient to overcome my “earthly”, with his “heavenly”…….still pouring in for endless hours, upon my heedless ears, music, which seems all surface one moment, but all depth the next…….it twinkles, trembles, and melts………

Now Playing:: Naam ghum jaayega………….Kinaara

p.s. its Burman’s death anniversary today and this song probably defines him to a large extent!
Naam ghum jayega,
chehra yeh badal jayega,
Meri awaaz hi pehchaan hai,
Gar yaad rahe........

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Foregone Conclusions

I don’t think anybody ever regards the thirty first of December and the first of January with a casual indifference. All the images diffused over the past twelve months, things that you did or could have done, all that you performed and neglected; begin to take a personal color and you tend to puff yourself up with resolutions. Last night, I felt it, and I am sure you felt it as well, and all of us survived as jolly candidates for the 1st of January 2009.

In sober happiness, I reflect, that I finally managed to make peace with dad after the CAT ordeal. It didn’t take much to break the ice, except a simple, “dad, I’ll sit for the civil services exam.” You don’t have much of a choice when your dad comes with an application form in his hand, and says, “Fill it up.” You muster enough courage to say a “no”, but the look on his face makes you utter the contrasting monosyllable. God help you, Deepika, how have you changed! Nah, I just realized that in life, there’s never a “my-way”, or a “highway”, but, welcome to “daddy’s-way”!! gosh! How I forgive, or overcome in fancy, old adversaries!

I had the best New Year’s Eve ever……….confetti, cake, coffee, chocolates, and cola do give you the best time, unless you want to begin the year with a few added calories. And add I did! Now, I’ve to tell you that the city restaurants actually ran out of tables last night, boy, people were too excited to welcome the coming year, and speed the parting guest. But, we buddies managed to get a not so humble meal at Rohan’s. Then I come home to get pleasantly surprised by my cousin. We watch Friends, fox-trot a bit, and by the time I had another dinner, the clock struck twelve, and it was New Year’s Day.

And even as I write this, I realize that the second of January is not too far behind, and the whole concept of welcoming one, January 1st seems too puerile. I would never understand the need to rise from the past year and masquerade in the “new man” image? But it is the law of nature that we must keep moving. The dog in the street does it, the fly on the window-pane does it as well. Everywhere living beings are hopping and dancing, and they know it by instinct that it is more pleasant to keep eternally moving like the planets than to sit still like a heap of stones. Welcome 2009!

As the years continue to lessen and shorten in proportion, I wish that you have more of the sun, and sky, and breeze, and summer holidays, and solitude, and delicious juices of the society, and candle-light dinners, and coffee conversations, and innocent vanities, and the irony of being in love itself, until we meet the next year. And now, lets raise a toast for 2009. Happy New Year, dear readers!!

Now Playing:: Dhadkan zara ruk gayi…………….Prahaar