Contained

Mother always insists on tucking the pleats of the saree "just" below the navel. That's how it ought to be worn, she says. I don't like doing that. It shows off my birth mark. A broken cloud. Uncontained.

She pleats further up on my chest and I'm lost in my mother's quest for beauty.

Each time, mother sarees me up she promises herself to feed me more and more so that I flesh out more and more and the world would begin to look more and more amazing to my tired, tired mother.

Each time she sarees me up, she thinks of a happy marriage. She thinks of yellow knots.

Each time she sarees me up, I too think of knots. I too, think of claustrophobia.

Each time she sarees me up and fixes my hair, she transforms me.

I become my mother.


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