AM I A HYPOCRITE????????????

Its been a few days, since I have been questioning myself,'' am I a hypocrite?'' I asked my sister, and pat came the reply, '' yes dear, you are!! '' Well this answer certainly made my blood curdle, and thats the reason why I am cudgeling my brain, so that I can atleast satisfy myself, that maybe after all , hypocrisy is an imperative concomitant of a so called ' peaceful survival.' But who exactly is a hypocrite? The Oxford dictionary answered my query. Apparently a hypocrite is a person who makes false claims to virtue. My joy knew no bounds and I jumped in glee coz my sister had completely misinterpreted the word. I was heavily relieved to know that I am not exactly a hypocrite. Well I am not sure which word in the English dictionary can sum me up, but whatever it is, I am sure as hell, it is not hypocrite. So, dear sister, better brush up your word power or take a renege. Hey, but I am not signing off yet, I would like to filibuster for some time. So all you crazy busy bees reading my blog ( if any ), that cute little X on the top right hand corner of the screen can rescue you from tolerating this fudge of mine. For all others who have nothing else but TIME just like me, can keep scrolling.

Now analysing one's own character and personality is truly queer and quite a Herculean task, but i guess its better than analysing somebody else's. The way i conduct myself with others ( other than family members ) has no adumbration of my real self. I am like a curate's egg-----partly good and partly bad. I am a permanent denizen of the state of equilibrium, with sporadic visits to a faraway land where I become hyper and intolerable. The one thing that I like about myself, is the virtue to be sangfroid and I am seldom impulsive. Though I am not social by nature, but neither I am a loner or a party-poop. Its just that I am a bit moody, and though i dont have a problem with people, my own company is my predilection. There are a lot of things that i do not agree to, which completely demarcates me from the confrere. So what do i do? I just mend my ways and never open my gob until required. And this itself is the biggest irony coz i know i am a cent percent introvert but people find in me the greatest extrovert. Maybe thats why people like me and enjoy having a confabulation with me because i speak what they want to hear. I am sincere in the comments i make, making sure that i keep the sincerest to myself, so that i dont end up hurting them now and regretting later. I feel i have mastered the art of concealing my true feelings and letting them border on casualness. Maybe i do feign, but who doesn't? Now, if by that, my sister concluded that i am a hypocrite, then maybe i am, but i would not like to bank upon that notion. I would like to believe that i am a good human being caught in a rather unfamiliar world.


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