MIND'S PUKE

I think life is abound with moments n phases where we simply run out of sensible stuff to poke our heads into. I dont know whether others go through similar phases but off late my uncomplex mind seems to be enormously perturbed apropos of nothing. Since the past nineteen years i have been tryin to figure out, what the F is my problem. Why am i the way i am????? And i guess i would be doing that till i breathe my last.

Pleading my brain to stop being eccentric, has become an imperative concomitant of my daily rituals. I sometimes wonder as to how my brain exactly functions; it always seems to be at a loss when it comes to prioritising things. And all this bosh prefer to happen just when i require my mind to function at its calmest best; before the exams. But, no, it wont. The universe certainly finds its way to get back at me just when i am in a mood to enjoy things. And the more, the universe pulls up such stunts against me, the more i start respecting it. I dnt think the universe would ever cease to amaze me. It would continue its mission of seeing me rot in the vortex of my own inner conflicts.

Whoever proposed that we Homo sapiens are the most intelligent creatures, to have walked on this planet, is the biggest IDIOT of his or her era. Just take a look at the way the universe makes us succumb to our inner conflicts, atleast it has made me. Its becoz we can deal with any kind of problem whose dimensions are confined to the external, but if the problem decides to break barriers and succeeds in making inroads into the calm confines of the brain, that is when u realise that your life is no different than that of hell. And to make matters worse, i dnt even know what exactly am i upset about? These days i am finding it difficult to live with myself, i am like a walking tragedy!!! There's a complete loss of sense of direction. Truly,'' nothing is the worst thing that can happen to anyone.''


Wow aane wala pal is now playing. Maybe my life is not that bad as i have portrayed it to be. I have had enough of this moral weight lifting and i hope i dont get myself some over-developed muscle. See, it requires just a song to put my entire being back on track. I dont want my life to be sweet n sticky on the outside and all white, messy, and disgusting on the inside. ( though it is some what like that )

Well exams are knocking at my dreams, doors n literally everywhere, so i have to stop being a spiritual barbarian. There's a lot of numerical work to be taken care of n lot of equations to be taken in the form of injections, so that they remain dissolved in my system. I love my life.

December is around the corner and i would be turning twenty in its first week and thats enough to scare me to further heights. I cant be a recluse at twenty but i cant help being unambitious ( the kids at kindergarden would be more ambitious than me ).

Every time my mom asks me.''what next?''
And i am like,'um........yeah.......lets see'
And mom's like,'' how are u going to face the world with this kind of an attitude?''

I usually dnt answer such questions which border on obscurity n the nearest way out is to remain silent. Other ways include casting furtive glances on the floor or any part of the universe. The whole idea is to make philosophical faces as if you are thinking about the origins of life on earth and the other person would note that you are actually thinking about the questions volleyed at you.

Now Playing: Tumhi dekho naa.................. Kabhi Alvida