As Indians we are expected to be either engineers or doctors, whichever is the entrance that we find easier to crack. It takes muscle and guts to sit for these exams, and I’ve grown old and wise and tired of these competitive exams. And, therefore, dear daddy, do not even try to invest in a lost cause; how could you even think that “I” could ever bell the CAT.
My dad has been upset ever since I refused to sit for the CAT, but what trebles his dissatisfaction is my complete lack of ambition. But, he can scarcely conceive how much two years of disappointment, study and anguish have worn me down. The constant need to live up to the expectations of a family that thrives on academic excellence has drained me of every speck of volition. Post twelfth I wasted two years of my life, running after things that I could never achieve, trying to prove things to people, and dad you probably have no clue, how many times I broke down when I couldn’t meet expectations. There couldn’t be a worse feeling than that. Maybe I am a “lost cause”.
Dad, please do not expect me to make up to the lost chances of the medical entrances by appearing for CAT, and quit drawing comparisons between me and bro. The same blood runs through both our veins, but he cannot be me and I cannot be him. You cant stop beaming about bro’s GRE scores, but did you even know that I’ve been topping every semester, and did you ever care to hear all those plaudits that wrung from a hundred hands just for me?? I suppose, I’m getting a little over-emphatic. There doesn’t seem much point in trying to explain everything, does there?
Graduating in Physics, spells suicide to you, but why is it so difficult for you to accept that I’ll still be there in the world of Newton and Einstein, where two and two make four and not five or six. When will you start respecting all professions even if they don’t get paid equally??
Dear dad, my spirit is broken and there is no way that I can raise myself from this delicious sloth. I’m too much in love with this charmed stagnation and that prohibits me from venturing into virgin lands. Maybe I’ll never do anything, and I’ll never amount to anything. I tried to give myself a personality as per your conditions and I failed and failed miserably. My ambition became confused and then faded. Still, I wont quit trying………not your way though!!
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6 comments:
u kno wats d motto dese dayz
"lets cut throats n make a place 4 our fat asses"
sympathies!!
you write so well,dont even consider yourself a loser,and then these days there are so many different fields that you could venture into,you write sooo well,i would have felt blessed to have a daughter like you.
try and make a career in your writing and you are gonna come up very well and make daddy proud.
cheer up darling,life has so much to give.
sheela
Most people sit 4 CAT to witness the magnitude of the awe n wonder that it generates n as I always say, exams are not the means to determine our worth n every Tom, Dick n harry is an engineer dese dayz n it takes guts ( as u say ) to major in physics.
@ onelife
hmm dats a paradox of sorts, but dat is also wat makes our country d talent hub.
sympathies accepted:)
@ Sheela
thanx a tonne 4 those encouraging words...they really mean a lot 2 me.i hope i do something in life dat'll make dad proud of me, but as i see it, my dad hates anything creative, he feels its all a waste of time n thank god he doesnt read my blog:)
@ abhishek
no dear it doesnt take guts to major in physics, all it takes is laws of motion ;)
Yeah, the RAT-RACE is too pathetic... and i dnt even hope to see better times.
Lets see,wher do we end up working :P
@ debasish
arrey its quite a diff game 4 u engineers!!
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